American Girl Doll Give Away!!

This Thursday marks our 10 month mark!!  It's amazing how quickly, yet excruciatingly slowly the last 10 months have passed us.  When we began I wondered if exactly 40 weeks from that point if our baby might be born.  Would God set it up that just as we became active on the adoption list our baby would begin to be knit together in his/her first mama's womb?  Well, we are nearing that day.  Only God knows when our baby will be due.  In His perfect timing....  So we continue to wait!  While we are waiting we are working on continuing to raise money for the adoption fees!

We are over the moon and so very, very EXCITED to announce this fundraiser.  We will be raffling off an AMERICAN GIRL DOLL!!  With Christmas just a few short months away now is a great time to be thinking of a gift for that special little girl in your life!!

 American Girl Doll Give Away!!!!

• We will be giving away one* American Girl Doll of YOUR CHOICE to one* lucky winner! *If we sell more than 150 virtual tickets, we'll add a 2nd doll so there will be TWO lucky winners! 

• The giveaway is open for one month (July 21 - August 21).  The winner(s) will be announced Saturday August 23!

Here's how it works:

• Purchase a virtual raffle ticket by clicking on the PayPal button on the right that says "American Girl Raffle."  Important: Please indicate your contact information in the notes section so we can find you if when you win.
• If you would prefer to make a tax deductible donation with your raffle ticket purchase please click on the Adopt Together Button at the top.  In the comments, just note American Girl raffle when you are making the donation!

• Each donation of $10 buys you 1 virtual raffle ticket.  A donation of $25 buys you 3 virtual raffle tickets.
• Cash or check raffle tickets may also be purchased in person.  Just contact me!
• The winner will be selected using Random.org and announced here on this blog.
• If you are the lucky winner, I will contact you via email to arrange for your American Girl gift card to be issued so that you may choose the American Girl doll of  your choice!

Which American Girl Doll will you choose??  

Give me your eyes so I can see....

It never ceases to amaze me how God works in our lives.  Just last night we began an intensive study on spiritual warfare.  I was a little nervous about beginning this study.  In the past when I have

I felt like letting go, giving up, and just moving on.

Since we began this process over a year ago there has been one scripture that has been our guiding light.  God has used it to reaffirm so many situations and circumstances.  It has brought comfort, healing, and hope.  There have been so many times where I feel like letting go, giving up, and just moving on.

Update on the Chick fil A Fundraiser!

I have been wanting to share with y'all how the Chick fil A Adoption fundraiser turned out.  We have been crazy busy since last week, but I am glad to finally have a moment to update you.  To say the least it was a GIANT success!!!  It went above and beyond any expectations I could have ever imagined.

The next BIG thing!

We are so excited for our next fundraiser!  We have been anxiously preparing for it for the last couple weeks.  This is one that has been in the back of my mind since January.  I have prayed consistently about it for months.  When it first came to mind I was a little nervous about it.  I was not sure where to start or how to put it together.  I kept praying about it to be sure it was definitely something we should tackle.  I kept coming back with a resounding, "YES"!  Doors opened and plans were made.  So here we are faithfully standing and waiting to see how God will show up with this one!

Why haven't I been trusted with a child?

I did not think Mother's Day would have much of an effect on me.  I expected to do as we always do.  We spend time with our families and friends and celebrate moms!  It's always been a wonderful time.  I have adoption friends and friends who struggle with infertility.  I had heard them say Mother's Day is a hard day and were not looking forward to it for certain reasons.  They said it hurts.  They said they feel lonely and sad.  I understood for them, but not me...  I was certain I would be fine.

I had been asking myself in the days leading up to Sunday if Mother's Day would hurt this year.  Would I be sad?  Would it be anything but normal?  Would not being a mom hurt even more on Sunday?  I kept coming up with no.  You don't let stuff like that get to you.  It's not about you.  You will be fine.  Mother's Day is for moms.  You aren't a mom.  It's not even about you.  Just focus on the things you need to get done for others.  I was settled with that answer.  I was good with it.  I had no issue with Mother's Day.  I was good to go.  Until Mother's Day eve....

"So you think you will be a mother this Mother's Day?" he asked

Ahhhh Mother's Day.  Mother's Day is coming.  Did you know it's just 4 days away?  A day to celebrate mama's everywhere.  This year is a little different for me.

I was walking along minding my own business and wham out of nowhere like a heavy brick being dropped on my little baby toe someone asks me, "Sooooo you think you will be a mother this year for Mother's Day?"

Is it all worth it?

This past week has been a busy one.  Our seven month mark came and went.  Some days I have to remind myself where we are in this whole process.  Time seems to be flying. I keep us incredibly busy. I have told y'all before I am a type A personality.  I grab life.  I am a go-getter.  I am a doer.  Sitting back and waiting for something to happen just isn't in my psyche.

They say opposites attract.  My poor husband.  He just makes me laugh.  He told me this past weekend he knew I always had 10 balls in the air juggling when he married me, but he said he never knew it would get to be this much.  Every day lately it seems I have a new project for us.  We are both excited and thrilled to see all God is laying out before us, but I think he is just flat worn OUT.

We have been working on our T-shirt fundraising project for a couple weeks now.  My husband is the technical designer.  He is great with graphics design!  I have told him more than once I married him for his skills!  Of course I am kidding, but we do make a great team.  I can tell him what I am thinking, show him a couple pictures and he can whip a design for me in no time on the computer.

Seven months. My knees are raw today.

Today marks SEVEN months on the adoption active list!  That is 212 days!  It has been an awesome road so far.  We have discovered things about ourselves we never would have without this journey.  I have been able to do things I never dreamed possible before.  Our marriage, love for each other, and love for our God are stronger because of it.  We are thanking God for the hard road.  It will make the reward that much sweeter!

Some days are harder than others.  May I be so bold as to ask you to pray for us? Adoption is not easy.  It plays with your heart.  There is a lot of work that goes into it financially, emotionally, and spiritually.  Friends, if you would please remember our family and especially our birthmother in your prayers we would greatly appreciate it.  Please pray specifically for our birthmother's comfort and safety as well as for peace for us and for our financial resources to be ready when the time comes.   

God will reveal our child when His timing is perfect.  Until then we will continue to walk our adoption journey in His good and perfect will for our lives.  Your prayers support and sustain us.  My knees are raw today.  Thank you for your love and encouragement!  Thank you for joining us in growing our family.

A FRESH word to rejuvenate your soul

A fresh word...  I have been asking God for a fresh word from Him for the last week or so.  If more than a day or so goes by and I have not felt the almighty presence of our God directly in my life I get anxious. Where are you God?  Have you forgotten me?  I need you Lord.... I need to know you are with me at all times...

Adoption is a scary thing.  There are SO many unknowns.  Many, many people are involved and with countless variables it is impossible to control any part of the process.  For someone who is used to being in control of EVERYTHING it can be difficult and terrifying to let go.  Putting your life and your future all in so many different hands can be frightening.  

How can something so joyous be so sad?

It is holy week.  It is such a joyous and yet heavy time of year.  I have been reflecting on what it all means.  I have tried to wrap my mind around what it must have been like for Jesus these last few days anticipating the crucifixion.  He knew what was coming.  He knew each and every painful detail.  How terrifying it must have been to have each minute tick closer to a horrific death.  The literal weight of the world must have been on his sinless shoulders as he walked through the days of Passover.  The bible tells us Jesus actually sweat blood in anticipation of what was to come.  But he knew it must come to pass.  It would be the only way.  We are His portion and He is our prize...Oh how he loves us!

Love like that is almost unfathomable to me.  Our Savior's love is what Easter is all about.  It is truth lived out on earth.  It is the word coming to pass.  It is hundreds and hundreds of years of prophesy unfolding and coming to life so that you and I and all of future generations may live.  What an awesome God that would lay down his own blameless life for all of us.  

The Wait is OVER.

As hopeful adoptive parents we talk about waiting.  A lot.  After all the paper work has been filed, the home studies are complete, and the nursery is ready to go all there is really left is waiting.  We wait with hopeful hearts day in and day out that today might be THE day.  Our hearts do a little flutter when the phone rings with an unfamiliar number.  We celebrate gotcha days with our fellow adoptive parents all the while waiting.  Waiting. Waiting.  Waiting.......

The last few weeks have shaken me up in my waiting state.  I have recently been reminded of something I have known all along.  I have been all consumed in the adoption journey and I am changing my perspective.  I have an announcement:  My friends I will no longer be waiting.  

Is Adoption Brain Real??

My pregnant friends tell me "baby brain" is a very real thing.  I am always hearing crazy things they have done or forgotten to do like only shaving ONE leg.  A friend finding the remote in the fridge was particularly hilarious.  So my question is:  Does "adoption brain" exist??  I am fairly certain I have it!!  If it's not a real thing, I think I may have lost my mind y'all!  

We have been feverishly working on all things baby recently.  It just seems to pass the time.What in the world did we ever do before all this adoption "stuff"??  It seems as though it's always been here.  I would like to know what I did with all my time before paperwork, nursery painting/sewing/planning, and fundraising!!  It seriously has consumed me the last few weeks.  

Anyways, back to the part where I am fairly certain I have lost my mind....last week I realized there was one day I did not brush my teeth until late in the afternoon (ew!  Y'all I work in a dental office.  This is major!!)  Thank goodness this was my day off.

Secondly, the next day I came home after a long day at work and kicked my shoes off only to notice I had one sock on turned inside out.  I am OCD about stuff like this.  It troubled me for hours I had worn my sock wrong side out.

Third, and probably most troubling is the fact that I may or may NOT have rolled through a red light when turning right WITH a police officer right behind me.  I say may or may not simply because I cannot remember...I knew the officer was behind me on my way to work.  I carefully watched my speed as I naturally have a lead foot.  However, my mind must have drifted because after making a right hand turn I snapped back to reality and thought, "OH MY GOSH!  I think I ran that red light!!"  

I debated with myself the rest of the way to work if I had bothered to come to a complete stop.  Apparently, the cop had better things to do that day because he never pulled my over.  Thank goodness because I feel certain the topic of adoption brain would have been my defense.  I can see a picture of my ticket on facebook now...  #ipromiseofficeradoptionbrainisveryreal #hedidntbuyit

Do y'all have this phenomenon??  Please tell me I am not the only one!  I would love to hear your stories.  

Would you google your questions to God?

I have grown so accustomed to the internet answering my questions for me sometimes I wish I could google questions of my heart to God.  Strange I know.  Wouldn't it be nice though?  With a click of a mouse or the quick flick of the enter key my question would be in cue to be answered.  Probably a sad result of me being a product of our instant gratification society.  

Nonetheless, my questions linger and my heart longs for answers.  How much longer will we wait?  Did I include the right stuff in our profile book?  Wonder why the first seven showings were a no?  What didn't they like?  I could go on and on.  I ask God and myself these questions and so many more when I allow my mind to drift.  I ask and I know my God hears me.  The bible tells us God hears every prayer uttered.  He even hears our heart when we can't even muster the thoughts to pray.  Psalms 66:19-20 tells us But certainly God has heard; He has given heed to the voice of my prayer.  Blessed be God, Who has not turned away my prayer, Nor his lovingkindness from me.  My heart knows He's never far, but sometimes it feels like He is so far away.

How do you handle an attack on your adoption?

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.  Romans 12:18

I am not responsible for how someone treats me, but I will be held accountable for how I treat them.  I try to remind myself of this when I am confronted with the choice to walk away or engage in an argument.  This past week I was tested in this area.

We have been working HARD towards the adoption.  We have been making things for the nursery and keeping ourselves busy with fundraising endeavors.  A great deal of my time has been spent blogging about our adoption lately.  My blog posts are without a doubt God inspired.  The nudging of the Holy Spirit has led me in my writing as of late.  I have committed myself to tuning in to what the Spirit would have me share and letting Him lead me in my posts.  I have discovered that the more I turn my ear to my Father the more fulfilled and satisfied my heart is.

The enemy has certainly not let this go unnoticed.  Adoption is a sensitive subject for me.  I have been open in my writing about my thoughts, emotions, and feelings.  I have put far more down on paper than I probably ever could have said face to face to an audience.  This has left me transparent and vulnerable.  The enemy certainly knows where my self doubt, insecurities, and fear are.  I have been hit hard the last few days.  My motives were questioned and my values were put under scrutiny.    

My Top 10 Reasons I Heart Adoption

Adoption is awesome!  I love it!  It is exciting!  It creates forever families!  Since we are paper pregnant I could probably name 100 reasons I love adoption, but here are my top 10.  

1. Love!  God is love.  We love because God first loved us. {1 John 4:19} We are called as Christians to love one another.  The bible says in Mark that the greatest commandment we have is to love God and love one another.  Pretty important stuff!  I cannot think of a more special way to show love than to adopt a child into your home.  We have so much love in our marriage and seriously can NOT wait to show our children what it means to love and be loved.

2. Hope!  Adoption is all about hope.  It gives parents hope to raise a family who might not otherwise have the opportunity.  It gives a child in need a hope to have a forever family.  For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future!  {Jeremiah 29:11}  God promises to give us hope in life and after!  He gives us a hope for eternal life through salvation.  That is the most glorious hope of all my friend.  

3. To live out God's word!  Adoption is nothing new to God.  It was His idea from the beginning.  Think about it.  Jesus was adopted by Joseph!  How amazing!!  Our loving Father wants to adopt us into His holy Kingdom.  He sacrificed His Son as the only perfect way to provide a way for us to be his children forever.  Adoption is mentioned in the new Testament six times.  Each time the term is used in relation to Jesus redeeming our relationship with our Heavenly Father so that we can be in His family.  So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves.  Instead, you received God's Spirit when He adopted you as his own children.  Now we call Him "Abba, Father". {Romans 8:15}  Choosing to bring a child home through adoption and loving that child unconditionally allows us to experience how God loves us and makes us His family!

4. We are are to be God's hands and feet.  "Christ has no body on earth but yours, no hands but yours, no feet but yours. Yours are the eyes through which Christ's compassion for the world is to look out; yours are the feet with which He is to go about doing good; and yours are the hands with which He is to bless us now." ~Saint Teresa of Avila  God put us on earth to be a door for His love to walk through!  James tells us we are to care for orphans and widows.  How else but to welcome them into your home and family forever??  Oh to bring that sweet, sweet baby home!  I know we are commanded to bless others by serving them, but when I lay that baby down to sleep in their own bed for the first time I know I will be the one who is being blessed.  What an awesome way to think of ourselves when we say we are God's hands and feet!!  I don't know about you, but I am excited to do God's work.    

5. One less orphan!  Can you imagine my friend, not having a family?  Growing up knowing someone loves you, longs for your very presence, and provides you with a safe place to live are some of our greatest gifts.  Knowing there are babies and children in the world who are abandoned and hungry makes my heart hurt.  Seeing precious babies in orphanages not knowing love, never experiencing a mother's loving touch, knowing they have to soothe themselves to sleep each night is heartbreaking.  One less my friend.  One LESS orphan.  One less baby who needs a mama's whisper of a promise to never leave them is what I want to make happen!  When I adopt my baby there will be ONE less.

At what point is a test so difficult you can no longer trust God?

Life is hard.  Choices, decisions, relationships, money....  Life is just plain hard.  Childhood allows most to experience pure innocence.  Slowly we grow and slowly our innocence fades.  Adulthood brings mortgages, marriages, careers, and responsibilities.  Similarly, as our experience with God grows His testing in our lives become harder.  God tell us no matter the trial to always trust him.

Recall our beloved story in Matthew.  When Jesus called out to Peter to leave the safety of his boat and walk across the water to Him.  Jesus was asking Peter to trust Him completely.  Peter immediately jumped from his place of comfort and willingly set out across the water.  He fixed his eyes on Jesus and began walking towards an outstretched hand.  What a dramatic scene to behold!  Peter trusted Jesus one hundred percent to keep him from sinking.  But then recall what happened.  Peter's eyes shifted from His Lord and he saw the danger around him.  The wind frightened him and he instantly lost his faith.  Immediately he began to sink and cry out to Jesus to save him!  "You of little faith." Jesus answered.  "Why do you doubt?"  Of course our loving master caught him and set him right.

Saying NO to Comparison: Letting go of the life I had pictured

Why do we compare ourselves to others?  When you hear good news about friends/colleagues, do you rejoice with them? Or do you quickly compare and maybe feel like you don't measure up?  

Comparison steals joy, so why do we find ourselves so often caught in a cycle of ugly competition?  I think everyone has a deep down desire to belong.  Especially women.  We want to know we are doing a good job with our husbands, friends, homes, children, and really our lives in general.  We look at others and use our peers as a measuring stick for our own lives.  It truly is a vicious cycle.

Facebook and in recent years Pinterest and Instagram have made it far too easy to gain a "perfect snapshot" into others lives.  These sites are a great way to keep up with family and friends and plan our fun events, but they rarely show the behind-the-scenes dirty details.

We see what others want us to see.  Perfect pictures.  Perfect marriages.  Perfect children.  Perfect homes.  Perfect parties.  Perfect. Perfect. Perfect.....  Let's get REAL.  There was only ONE perfect person in this world and He certainly wasn't on facebook.  We know others lives aren't perfect, so why are we comparing our lives to what only LOOKS perfect on a website??

Counting the hairs on my baby's head

Did you know God found my wedding dress for me?  He sure did.  Took me right to it!  It was one of my first "It's a God thing" moments!  To say I was excited would be putting it mildly.  I think I walked on clouds for about two weeks after I found THE dress.

I had been on ONE shopping expedition with my maid of honor.  That's all it took for me to know wedding dress shopping was NOT for me.  I am a size 16.  Every dress on the rack is a size 8 or smaller.  You do the math.  A watermelon is definitely not going to slip into a lemon.  It was a nightmare.  About all I could do was look at the dress and hold it up to me.  The ladies at the dress shop were nice enough, but all I wanted to do was escape the embarrassment. I came home and cried.  I already didn't want a big wedding to parade around in front of people and the thought of having to find THE dress for that parade was torture.

Should we meet our birth mother?

God put a million, million doors in the world For his love to walk through. One of those doors is you! 

I have had an awesome song playing in my head for two days now.  I LOVE this song.  I listen to our Christian  music radio station at work all day everyday.  It's encouraging.  It's uplifting and it helps get me through the "fun" days.  When this song comes on I do my little happy dance.  The song is Jason Gray's With Every Act of Love.  The lyrics say, "God put a million, million doors in the world for His love to walk through.  One of those doors is you!  If you haven't heard it yet there is a link at the bottom of my post!  I know you will LOVE it!!  

After a day or so of the lyrics playing over and over in my mind, I stopped to really think about them.  God really DID put a million doors on earth for His love to walk through.  He wants every single person on earth to feel His love.  I WANT to be one of those doors!  I started thinking.  How can I be a door for God to use?  

Latest Adoption Update

Today was the day to call.  It has officially been six months since our adoption profile book began showing.  I told myself when we started this process I would be patient.  I would try to "put it on the shelf" as the attorney called it.  The attorney's office told us we could call and check in at any time.  They keep track of how many times your dossier/profile book has shown, what dates, and which social worker in the state showed it.

I am a terrible "waiter".  I am so impatient it's not even funny.  I am a planner, a take charger, a DEFINITE type A go-getter.  If it's not happening, I'll make it happen.  However, as many of you know, adoptions certainly do not work like that.  It is all in God's hands.  Certainly He is in charge of it all and absolutely my lesson during this waiting period is patience.

So Today was the day.  I made a deal with myself the only time I would "take it off the shelf" and call the attorney's office would be at the 3, 6, 9, etc. month marks.  It was a way to keep myself in check and not pester the poor man to death with my excitement, i.e. "Now?", "ok now?", "well how about NOW??".

Why?

Adoption by nature is an emotional journey.  The waiting process alone traverses highs and lows. Some days are uplifting in the hopefulness.  Could today be the day we will get THE call?? There are the mini-successes of an approval that comes in or the completion of a homestudy step.

There is joy in making things for my future baby.  Imagining them using a new blankie or playing with a new toy can be heartwarming.  Wondering if they will like their new room we have created for them.....or will they grow up to be terrified of DUCKS because we have surrounded them with them??  It's all very touching and so much FUN!!

But then there are the hard days.  And I do mean HARD days.  Days that try me to my very soul.  I wonder why.  Why are there so very many people who can so easily have children?  They excitedly say, "We are going to get pregnant!".  And they do.  Just like that.  No effort, no pain, no medicine, no doctors telling them not to.  It just happens!  I am SO happy for them, but I wonder why it is so easy for them and so hard for others.

Paper Pregnant

We are six months paper pregnant!  Pregnant mothers typically have nine months to prepare.  Nine months to prepare for a new life to care for, a new member of the family to celebrate, and nine months of joyful planning for their new baby.  Adoptive moms are no different in the planning!  We just don't know exactly what time frame we have to work with.  There's paperwork, meetings, timelines, and approvals.  It can be exhausting.  But there is a lot of waiting and hoping too.  During that time we have tried to keep busy and have FUN getting ready for our baby to arrive.  Most parents say you will never be fully prepared for what parenthood holds.  We are trying! 

We moved into our new house last August.  About a week after we had moved to our new home our attorney's office called with a huge surprise.  While they had originally told us to plan for October to be added to the "active" list, things moved quickly and it was actually August when we were added.  We began slowly but surely preparing our hearts and our home for our sweet little gift from God.

One Hundred Seventy-Seven Days

Almost SIX months....One hundred seventy-seven days...

That is exactly how long we have been on our "active" list awaiting God's perfectly selected addition to our family.  In the grand scheme of things six months is no time, but when you are waiting on your first born it's a lifetime.  

For those of you who may not know our story, Jeff and I are in the process of adopting our first child.  Oh how I have longed for a baby.  My body has literally ached for a child for years.  Tears well now as I think of the longing, the yearning of my heart for my first child.  

From about age 13 I knew Abbie.  In my dreams and my fairy tale life I was going to be married at 25 and have "Abbie" at 27 and then her brother soon after.  What a naive, blissfully innocent life I had laid out for myself.

Well, 25 came and went.  27 flew by even faster...  No husband and definitely no Abbie.  I watched friends marry and babies come.  Babies turned into toddlers and grew into playful children.  I prayed hard and often.  I wondered when it would happen for ME.  I was so happy for my friends and could not have been more in love with their children, but I was ready to meet Abbie face to face!