Why?

Adoption by nature is an emotional journey.  The waiting process alone traverses highs and lows. Some days are uplifting in the hopefulness.  Could today be the day we will get THE call?? There are the mini-successes of an approval that comes in or the completion of a homestudy step.

There is joy in making things for my future baby.  Imagining them using a new blankie or playing with a new toy can be heartwarming.  Wondering if they will like their new room we have created for them.....or will they grow up to be terrified of DUCKS because we have surrounded them with them??  It's all very touching and so much FUN!!

But then there are the hard days.  And I do mean HARD days.  Days that try me to my very soul.  I wonder why.  Why are there so very many people who can so easily have children?  They excitedly say, "We are going to get pregnant!".  And they do.  Just like that.  No effort, no pain, no medicine, no doctors telling them not to.  It just happens!  I am SO happy for them, but I wonder why it is so easy for them and so hard for others.



I wonder why the horror stories on the news happen.  Every day it seems like there is some new horrific story of a mother who no longer wants her children and does some ungodly act to dispose of them as if they are expendable.  Why are people who seemingly do not care for their children so easily able to have baby after baby? Only to have them taken away after living in filth, drugs, or starvation.  These are the questions that tug at my heart from time to time.  No matter how many tears I shed over my questions, I will never understand these things on my own.  God has a better answer than I can ever come up with.

We live in a fallen world.  One of sin, greed, lust and imperfection.  A world where our enemy roams about like a roaring lion.  We are forced to contend with sickness, sorrow, evil and death.  But He reminds me often there is sweet, sweet redemption.  He loves us so much He took our place here on earth.  He gave us his own innocent, sweet baby who would grow up a sinless, perfect man to take all of our places in death.

In my heart I know there is a better answer and a better plan for us.  Maybe it was never supposed to be easy for us.  Maybe it in fact is supposed to be gut wrenchingly hard at times.  Maybe all the tears and hurt and pain I have begged for God to take for so long were all His plan from the start.  And as He makes me realize this every day, I discover more and more that I don't want it to be easy.  I would never be who I am today if it was all easy.  I want His redemption story for my life.  I want to be molded into who He wants me to be.

So when our baby or babies (yipee!!) do arrive and we do get THE call it will be PERFECT.  It will all be in HIS perfect time.  It will all be because He said it would be so.  His redemption, HIS refinement, and HIS love all come to life in our adopted babies!  How exciting y'all!  I seriously CAN NOT WAIT!!

{I sat down today with something so different on my mind for this blog post, but this is apparently what  God wanted to write today, so here you go!  Happy Saturday y'all!!!!!}