Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Should we meet our birth mother?

God put a million, million doors in the world For his love to walk through. One of those doors is you! 

I have had an awesome song playing in my head for two days now.  I LOVE this song.  I listen to our Christian  music radio station at work all day everyday.  It's encouraging.  It's uplifting and it helps get me through the "fun" days.  When this song comes on I do my little happy dance.  The song is Jason Gray's With Every Act of Love.  The lyrics say, "God put a million, million doors in the world for His love to walk through.  One of those doors is you!  If you haven't heard it yet there is a link at the bottom of my post!  I know you will LOVE it!!  

After a day or so of the lyrics playing over and over in my mind, I stopped to really think about them.  God really DID put a million doors on earth for His love to walk through.  He wants every single person on earth to feel His love.  I WANT to be one of those doors!  I started thinking.  How can I be a door for God to use?  

I come in contact with many people as patients and business associates every day.  I began asking God to let them see His light through me.  Not that I haven't asked Him to do that for years, I just want a renewed fresh start.  I knew that wasn't enough though.  I knew God had been writing the million doors lyrics on my heart for more than just that. 

I began thinking about our future birth mother as I often do.  If things were perfect for her I know she would not be considering an adoption plan.  I cannot imagine how her situation must feel for her.  I pray for her often.  I pray for her safety, her comfort, her health and of course that she may be touched by the hand of God.  I pray she has a good meal when I sit down to eat and that she is warm when I lay down to sleep.  I pray she makes good decisions for her and her baby.  I pray that she is surrounded by God's love daily.  

I do not know if we will ever meet our birth mother.  That is really up to her.  When we began our adoption process I started thinking about whether or not I would want to meet the birth mother.  Honestly, the thought of meeting her face to face was and is a little frightening.  I am still not 100% sure how I feel about meeting.  I have definitely become more comfortable with the idea than I was last July.  I am leaving that decision up to God.  If He wants us to meet, then we will.  We have little control over the decision in our process.  If she requests a meeting I certainly won't deny it.  

I do know if I get the chance to meet this sweet lady I will without a shadow of a doubt do my best to be one of God's million doors.  I want her to know how much He loves her.  I want her to know how much we love and respect her.  She will always be honored in our home.  I want her to know I think the world of her for making such a selfless decision for her baby.  More than anything I want to thank her for giving me something I would never be able to give myself....the chance to be called, "Mama".

Please Lord let this sweet, special lady see your light today and always through a million doors around her!!!

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