Monday, March 31, 2014

At what point is a test so difficult you can no longer trust God?

Life is hard.  Choices, decisions, relationships, money....  Life is just plain hard.  Childhood allows most to experience pure innocence.  Slowly we grow and slowly our innocence fades.  Adulthood brings mortgages, marriages, careers, and responsibilities.  Similarly, as our experience with God grows His testing in our lives become harder.  God tell us no matter the trial to always trust him.

Recall our beloved story in Matthew.  When Jesus called out to Peter to leave the safety of his boat and walk across the water to Him.  Jesus was asking Peter to trust Him completely.  Peter immediately jumped from his place of comfort and willingly set out across the water.  He fixed his eyes on Jesus and began walking towards an outstretched hand.  What a dramatic scene to behold!  Peter trusted Jesus one hundred percent to keep him from sinking.  But then recall what happened.  Peter's eyes shifted from His Lord and he saw the danger around him.  The wind frightened him and he instantly lost his faith.  Immediately he began to sink and cry out to Jesus to save him!  "You of little faith." Jesus answered.  "Why do you doubt?"  Of course our loving master caught him and set him right.

Oh friend, aren't we like Peter?  Don't we set out to trust our Heavenly Father?  As Christians we recognize the trials of life and we see our God's hand in the fire.  We set out to rely on Him.  We set out across the water eyes fixed on our God, full of faith, but somewhere there is some danger, some event that causes our eyes to shift.  Our trust breaks and fear sets in.  "What if?", "How can?", "I can't!", we cry!  At some point during the testing we lose faith.  We lose our resilience.  We lose that innocent, blind trust just as Peter did.  We begin to sink!  We forget that our God has us in the palm of his hand.
We forget that our God is bigger than any storm we are in and we begin to rely on ourselves.

At what point does a test become so difficult that you decide you can no longer trust in God and you must take over to solve the problem?  We begin to trust in our own way to solve our problems.  I am a problem solver.  I am a "fixer".  I like to make things happen.  One of my hardest lessons has been to hand over my problems to God and let Him work them out.

The financial burden of our adoption has weighed heavily on me for months.  I am a strong believer of living a life without debt.  While Jeff and I have saved for years the cost of the adoption is certainly something we were not prepared for.  We have had to step out in full dependence on God that He will provide the necessary funds for our baby to come home.  We know without a doubt the adoption is in God's will for our lives, but funding it is all up to God.  I have had to wait for answers.  I have had to resist the temptation to take matters into my own hands and try to solve the financial puzzle.

God has promised He would handle the financial issues if we would just trust.  Recently, God led me to a story in Jeremiah.  The bible describes a situation in which the temptation to solve a financial problem became so great that they trusted in man's way to solve it.  The scripture in Jeremiah says, "Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord.  He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. They will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives.  But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord whose confidence is in Him.  {Jeremiah 17:5-7}

Oh that I would be one who trusts in the Lord!!  I want to press into our Heavenly Father to have full and total dependence on Him.  I want to JUMP out of my boat and RUN towards Jesus without a thought of the wind!!  I have prayed and prayed for over seven months now for the answers to the financial puzzle.  I have waited patiently on my God to open doors and lead us to the right path.  I have tried to resist with everything in me to step out on my own accord.

In the last few weeks I have sensed God's urging that now is the time.  He has opened doors and been nudging us to begin the fundraising necessary to bring our baby home.  He has led us through friends and fellow Christians to trustworthy avenues we feel will be able to help.  Not only have we been finding ways to save in our own budget, but we have been feverishly planning several fundraisers.  Our God will not fail us!  We know He will move His people to be a part of our supporters in our adoption.  He has already been showing us His good and faithful ways as we have been able to raise nearly $2,000.00!!

We enthusiastically announce we have partnered with Adopt Together so that our supporters may help contribute to bringing our baby home!  This website will allow tax deductible donations to our adoption.  Should you be moved to do so, you may visit to make a donation to our adoption.  There is no amount too small.  We greatly appreciate every dollar contributed!

We fully understand not everyone will be able to contribute financially, but we still need support in other ways.  Adoption is hard.  It's mentally, physically and emotionally draining.  We covet your prayers and ask that you cover our family in them daily.  Your prayers are what keep us going!

Oh that I would have a heart to trust God fully!  I want to be the one to fix my eyes on Jesus and not be moved.  No danger, no fear, no self doubt will move me!  God is so good.  He is so faithful my friend.  No matter the course we BELIEVE His word!  He WILL do as He has promised!

Jeremiah 29:11

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