Saturday, April 5, 2014

How do you handle an attack on your adoption?

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.  Romans 12:18

I am not responsible for how someone treats me, but I will be held accountable for how I treat them.  I try to remind myself of this when I am confronted with the choice to walk away or engage in an argument.  This past week I was tested in this area.

We have been working HARD towards the adoption.  We have been making things for the nursery and keeping ourselves busy with fundraising endeavors.  A great deal of my time has been spent blogging about our adoption lately.  My blog posts are without a doubt God inspired.  The nudging of the Holy Spirit has led me in my writing as of late.  I have committed myself to tuning in to what the Spirit would have me share and letting Him lead me in my posts.  I have discovered that the more I turn my ear to my Father the more fulfilled and satisfied my heart is.

The enemy has certainly not let this go unnoticed.  Adoption is a sensitive subject for me.  I have been open in my writing about my thoughts, emotions, and feelings.  I have put far more down on paper than I probably ever could have said face to face to an audience.  This has left me transparent and vulnerable.  The enemy certainly knows where my self doubt, insecurities, and fear are.  I have been hit hard the last few days.  My motives were questioned and my values were put under scrutiny.    

It is hard to hear criticism on a good day.  Mix in such a heart issue as our adoption and critical words cut like razor blades.  I always try to walk away from confrontation, but this time it put me in a place of discouragement.  As women we have such a bright light that shines but with each criticism it dims a little.  We build up walls to protect us, but those walls steal our joy too.  It's so hard though isn't it my friend?  When the demon of self doubt whispers to you that you will never measure up and your motives aren't pure we naturally protect ourselves with cover.  

What happens when the walls we throw up for protection take us out of God's will for our lives?  What happens when we stop being obedient to God's direction in order to shield ourselves from the criticism of others?  That is precisely what almost happened to me this past week.  I was ready to walk away from what I have been called to do recently in order to avoid criticism.  To stay and take the heat would mean me being completely out of my comfort zone.

After grappling with the decision, I was reminded of the story of Saul in the book of 1 Samuel.  Saul made a decision to only partially obey God.  It led to his demise.  At the heart of Saul's disobedience was fear of what others thought.  His fear and insecurity made him more afraid of the people than of God.  God told Saul exactly what to do to remain in His blessing, but Saul was crippled by his own fears. Consequently, Saul lost the favor of God and the people.  

I quickly realized that by taking myself out of the game I would only be partially obeying God.  I was in danger of making a HUGE mistake.  God gently showed me the error in seeking others' approval.  My Father's approval is all I need.  His grace is sufficient for me.  He showed me that His perfect way is the ONLY thing to be concerned with.  It didn't take me long to make the decision to leap out of my comfort zone and submit myself for more possible criticism.  I am so thankful we serve a loving, patient God who will gently correct us and direct our paths!

Aren't we all content in our safe place of refuge?  My place of love and encouragement with friends and family has always been where I prefer to remain.  I avoid confrontation and controversy like the plague!  I relish my comfort zone, but God does not want us to be "comfortable".  As long as we remain in our area of comfort we are self reliant.  Until God thrust me out of my comfort zone into a place of vulnerability I was not able to be fully dependent upon Him.  

God loves you sister!  God loves us so much that He will take you from your safe place, strip you of your warmth, and toss you into the wilderness making you totally uncomfortable.  All for your good!  The wilderness, the hunger, the longings of our unprotected place will change us.  We aren't who we used to be.  Our hearts have a new safe place unlike the old.  There is new life.  We are home now.  God is our new protected bubble.  He is our cover.  For our Redeemer is our new safe cover and we are home with him!  Thank God for the trials, the darkness, the lonely, for the heart ache, and for the criticism.  Without the brokenness we would never know His love like no other.

****I prayed often during this last week, but My God already had all the answers.  Of course He did!  I was offered two pieces of advice I took to heart during this trial.  I will share them with you in hopes you will be encouraged as well.  1. Don't you know who you are??  You are a child of the one true King!!  How could you be discouraged knowing you are HIS??  2. When you receive a compliment treat it like a piece of chewing gum.  Chew it up, get the flavor out, then spit it out.  When you receive  criticism chew it up, get the flavor out, then spit it out.  Neither one will make you or break you. ****

I hope today is the BEST day of your life and tomorrow is even BETTER!!!


  1. So needed this. I have come under fire recently in our second adoption process. It is hard but important to remember His approval is all that is truly required.

    1. It is a hard lesson to learn! Keep your head high and don't get discouraged. Good luck my friend!!

  2. Thank you for posting this! All adoptive parents need to hear this!! It can be so hard to continue to do what God is telling us to do and we feel called to do, when there are others telling us otherwise! We have to remember who it's important to follow and to do what our heart and mind lead us to do!! Thank you for sharing!

  3. Thank you for this! Yesterday was a bad day for me, but this showed me exactly what I need to be focusing on: my God & my family!