Nonetheless, my questions linger and my heart longs for answers. How much longer will we wait? Did I include the right stuff in our profile book? Wonder why the first seven showings were a no? What didn't they like? I could go on and on. I ask God and myself these questions and so many more when I allow my mind to drift. I ask and I know my God hears me. The bible tells us God hears every prayer uttered. He even hears our heart when we can't even muster the thoughts to pray. Psalms 66:19-20 tells us But certainly God has heard; He has given heed to the voice of my prayer. Blessed be God, Who has not turned away my prayer, Nor his lovingkindness from me. My heart knows He's never far, but sometimes it feels like He is so far away.
Occasionally, I get to feeling this way. Alas, every day is not a shout it from the roof tops look how God is moving in my life kind of day. There are just some days where I.get.discouraged. I feel disconnected and distant. Not much time passes though before our Father shows up in a HUGE way. I had the sheer joy of experiencing this today.
I read my devotional every morning. As soon as my eyes open I flip on my phone and see what my Father has for me today. Today the topic was on helping friends out of a pit. The pit being a time when no one can cheer you up and you wonder if there ever was or is a God. The author recalls a time he was in such a place. As the author writing and his friend sat in silence for some time after praying together his friend leaps up and suddenly says, "First Thessalonians 5:24!" "What verse is that?" he asks. "I don't know", she says "but that is the verse He spoke to me!" Of course the Scripture says, "The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it." The lesson goes on to say Can He be so personal? Can He care that much?
I have never come across this scripture before. I chewed on this scripture all day. I mulled over can my God be that personal...does He care that much...I know He can. He has shown me so many times before He is a God of details. I wrote to you before of the story of my wedding dress {Here} so I know He is in the business of personal touches. Sometimes my head forgets. Sometimes my circumstances get to me and wistfulness sets in.
I was reading one of my friend's adoption blogs as I do most nights. I relish fellow adoptive moms successes and pray for them often. I was pouring over a post I had randomly stumbled upon from last June. My friend was lamenting the wait. This sister has her heels dug in and is ready to wait the 3 years necessary to bring her baby boy home from Ethiopia. She is in for a huge wait, but she knows our Heavenly Father has set her on this path and she will not grow weary. As I was reading I was agreeing with her pain, sharing in her longing for her child. Until I stopped dead in my tracks. God showed up HUGE just like I knew He would. 1 Thessalonians 5:24 He who calls you is faithful. He will SURELY do it!!!! The SAME Scripture from this morning that God had set before me for my day. She had written it in her blog, but God had forever written it on my heart.
Such joy, such bliss, such pure happiness. I started to weep. My husband looked at me as if I was crazy. He knows. I am. My God has heard me. He has heard the longings of my heart. He knows how hard we have been pushing and praying and working. He knows how hard and fervently I have been seeking His face. And there it was. It was all the affirmation I needed that all my work for Him has not gone unnoticed. In little letters, but it might as well have been on a billboard. He cares. He knows. He is always there. Never failing. He who calls me is faithful. He WILL surely do it.
Yes, my friends He is that personal. He does care that much. No matter your struggle, whether you are in the trenches of an adoption as we are or you have other matters of the heart. He hears you friend. Never doubt it for a minute.
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